Life has been such a roller coaster as i continue to write this post 3 years later in the November of 2012. I found an amazing man and am engaged to him. I feel most positive and i feel like he brings out the best in me. I guess true Love makes you feel oddly cheezy, responsible,crazy, mature and deeply understanding all at once. I've had a rough 3 years with my career and relationships. But God doesn't put you through things you can't handle. I feel I have grown greatly. To forgive and accept you made a mistake is the first step to closure. However, there are times things still look unfair and unjust to you, things that we must learn to gloss over. I learnt how easy it was to hate and harbor hate, but it's funny how it only hurt me. To smile and forgive, pray and love people...is far more easier and fulfilling. I feel like I am not only learning, but implementing and feel liberated doing so. Srikanth is a breath of fresh air in my life. A mix of all the amazing men I've known...my dad.. my brother and a little something new. He has the most beautiful mind , sharp, practical, earthy and raw. He stands on his own, is made up entirely of his own hard work. I respect him more than anything. I truly feel he understands and is wise beyond years. I hope I can add to his life like he adds to mine. I am thoroughly excited for the wedding, and the life I spend with him.

Be...

In the end, they will walk away and you will be left with the consequences of the worst decisions you made in your life, all those broken friendships and memories of your foolishness. Lastly, the most hurtful one - Regret.

SO....Be Wise, Be Nice, Be independent, be honest, be loyal, be loving, be caring, but Don't, even for once, let them spoil a single thing in the life you made for yourself before you met them.

Truly, Madly, Deeply.....

I am in love. And however uncool it may be to say this, I am in love with my parents. I've been blogging and reading many blogs for quite some time now. And am surprised at the teeny weeny blogspace we bloggers devote to our parents.
We talk about lovers and friends, about colleagues and crushes. There are mom blogs that talk about motherhood and children, and relationships and stuff, but we never somehow seem to talk about our parents. I am surprised too that I haven't written about my parents considering how much I miss them and think about them all the time!

But this isn't a ritualistic post written for the sake of officially recognising their role in my life. It's because I don't seem to have enough of them these days. I probably love my parents as much as you do, but I respect them now more than I ever did. It's about situations in life and how they change you, change the way you look at things and people. I've moved from taking them for granted to cherishing them for the persons they are and not just my parents.

I realise now how easy they had made life for me by just being who they are, by giving me the space to be me. I love them for their ability to smile when they see the silver lining in the clouds. I value them for helping me to have faith in the goodness of life, to believe that it's going to be alright and that this too shall pass. I love them for their simplicity, their inability to complicate things like others do and to be happy. I love them for their energy and enthusiasm for life,And their efforts to pass it on to their children. I love them for letting the child in me live when they were helping me grow up, for being able to laugh out loud a carefree laugh, for loving us selflessly and unconditionally.

And I probably miss not living with them so much because there are such few people like them. Love you ma and pa!

Not Been Here, not done This!

I'm not the kind of person who lives without regrets. I regret doing so many things, not doing so many others. But before this life is over in a flash, I'd like to do a few things. Here's a random list of things I want to do, nothing edgy or fancy, plain simple things I haven't done before, I think I ought to do.

1. I want to travel without a plan. Settle on an island or a tranquil farm. Just squander away my time.

2. I want to be so rich, I won't know what to do with all the money. No, that's an exaggeration. I just want to be rich enough so that I can never think twice to gift my loved ones anything in the world, to give back to society, charity without thinking 'what's left for me'? Of course there is the frivolous side too, talk about a few crores like it's no big deal. Go shopping without a budget. Yes, I can be that indulgent.

3. Get a job where I work with either Food or Furniture! Two of my greatest passions, I can spend 26 hours a day exploring, learning or talking about' -

4. An interview on national television. I want to be a celebrity. A REAL celebrity. They say it's easy these days.

5. REBEL. Not care. About ANYONE. Not even in my head. Be selfish without guilt, drunk without a hangover.

6. Have a showdown. For some years now I've been more of a Gandhian believing in passive resistance, non-violence. I want to fight again. Have a fight club moment. Pin the villain down, become the hero kind of thing

7. Free Fall from the sky. I.e, Bungee jump or skydive. More than wanting to, I must. This vertigo has to GO!

8. Cook good food. North to south, east to west. Breakfast to dinner, appetizers to desserts - I'd love to cook for those I love.

9. Build a swanky, plush house I beleive in that walk-in closet...and jacuzzi bath tub.

10. Experience the highest meditative state. Tranquility, compassion, close to God someday.

I think turning 19 yesterday was the inspiration to this post.
As I grow a year older, I am so grateful to my cherished friends and family who make my birthday so special year after year. Those who took a minute in their life to even think of me, I am so blessed. Thankyou.


Apart from the 3 back to back exams I had today,nothing stood in my way of having a great night. My group study sessions were more entertaining than productive. An elephant inspired birthday song (Still can not figure out this absurd theme song my friends came up with randomly), we danced all night in the dorm, had a chocolate oozing chocolate cake :), I was so glad the whole gang was in attendance at my apartment celebrating with me, and after those tiresome exams and days of studying we had a moment in the rain! We stood and soaked it all in, the most liberating walk in the rain i've ever had. Of course we had to endure some sleazy one-liners by some drunken friday night souls. We went on to have dinner at Pickle Barrel where I tried some scrumptious Calamarri for the first time and I sweepingly enjoyed it.

I should also note my surprise dinner which my dear roommates treated me to the following day. My roomie Madhavi believed it was truly a bright idea to take me to a Vegan restaurant. I enjoyed the experience of having tried it out, but i'd rather stay hungry than eat that ever again. It was certainly the healthiest dinner of my life and I thank her for that :) but a milkshake with 7 vegetables ground into it should never be deceivingly called a milkshake ever. That power shake was worth framing in a showcase. I am yet to get back at Madhavi for this .
Despite the tragedy of a dinner I still love them for making my day so memorable. Here is a toast to a brand new ..healthy year

Steer away......New Rebel on the block.

It's almost 5 in the morning now. After my daily midnight tryst with the sound of boistrous laughter from the boozed up boozehounds that keep hanging around in my locality...I should have gone off to sleep like every other day but somehow today I just can't seem to even lie down without getting this unexplainable restlessness and heaviness in the brain ( which is far more wierd since i have a serious lack of it!). Even tried listening to all kinds of music from Maroon 5 to 'ahista' by Pankaj Udas to 'sutta' by Zeest to 'tere mere milan' from Abhimaan movie. Finally couldn't help but switch the computer back on to give my thoughts a new form...in the form of words.

There are times when we have everything that we need for a comfortable existence and yet there is a null...a void...that seems to linger somewhere in the background which you are unable to push away from sight. It simply refuses to go. It stays in the background and like a little nagging child( or even an adult!) keeps jumping infront of your other thoughts until you can take it no more. It is times like this that make me realise the true worth of a Sport! Yes a Sport! Since im not fond of the little black bottle like many others, this works as my little wonder drug which gives me an unprocessed, unseasoned mint feeling of acheivement that makes my worries evaporate into thin air in the form of tiny white clouds taking the shape of innumerable little angels...angels for sure!...since it takes you to a different world...one which I'd call paradise. Paradise it is for sure because I don't need noone there, just me and my solitude and it feels like I have achieved nirvana! Who would have thought achieving nirvana was this simple...So much for the uncountable years of prayer! ;)

I feel a change in me. A definite change. When i say that change is the only thing constant , I'm not stating some unknown scientific funda.Everyone is aware of it. There are times when we realise that we are changing and at other times its more of a slow and subtle change which makes it hard for us to acknowledge the fact that it has taken place..but it does.

This is precisely the 3rd time in my life when i can understand that I'm changing..and for the better.Isn't change always for the better? Maybe or maybe not. But thats a different discussion all together. So coming back to where i drifted from, what i feel different is that I have become more of a rebel...no not the kinds whose out there to abuse, give a damn about the world and ensure that the world knows about it in half decent clothing kinds!Im more of a decent rebel. One who wants her freedom and doesn't want numerous questions nagging her all the time. I seem to have become averse to the very sight of a question mark! Notice how many times i use an exclamation...even when there is a need of a question mark! lolz. All i need is to be a free bird who can fly away to whereever she wants. I'm not there to harm anyone. I can never do that. But let me be by myself. Make my own path, follow my dreams no matter how tacky or unachievable they may seem to anyone, do my own thing without fearing about the implications of it. Is that wrong? I don't want to even think if its wrong or not...all my life thats what i have been doing. Weighing everything before even taking a step...I guess I should have been born a libran.

Coming down to calling myself a rebel. I call myself one simply because I'm tired of trying to live according to the norms set by the so called "society". My life will be lived on my terms...Take it or leave it. Might lose couple of people i care about but I am willing to risk that. For the first time in my entire life, I'm not thinking. Those who love me will be with me no matter what anyways...

I'm driving my own life...enjoying the journey...not following any road map for christ sake!...taking the unknown feared path...the forbidden path ...atleast I will find the answers to everything... after all I have always been inquisitive!

India power packed!

Dinner at cascade, lunch at casa picola, getting caught by the cops -the citi centre, 'life in a metro' , rachu's love story , 'bommarillu', halka-pulka biryani, metro shoes, kanchipuram, my kitchen, dosa at woodlands drive in, mayajaal, Arun ice cream, coffee day, Ocean's Thirteen, Evam's python hyssteria, mummmy yelling, radio mirchi, the beach, k.r.m.m, pizza hut, Vishal on the roof, Friends on the phone, mehendi party, but...... to top it all....

SHIVAJIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!


enna...summa adhiridu la ???!!!!!

Green it is!

You Are A Green Girl

You feel most at home in a world of ideas. You're curious and logical - and enjoy a good intellectual challenge. You're super cool and calm yet very energetic. Your intelligence and romantic sarcasm sweeps a guy off his feet. Your only fear? Losing those you love.

What Color Girl Are You?